“Little Dreams Behind the Bars”

When i was a kid, i was told that police station is not a place for girls. I grew up thinking that maybe its just the bars that separate the good from bad.

Well! Sitting here today under quarantine makes me wonder, what wrong have i done?

Are these fences holding the world behind them or is it me who is being isolated from the world out there?

The answers i’ve for these questions raise numerous back questions to me.

Let’s not make it ‘philosophical.’ I never dreamt of unicorns, neither have i planned to conquer the world. I’m just another ordinary person who dreams of a colorful garden with flowers of happiness and thorns, which won’t bleed me to death.

Wondering what that means? Let’s go back to the time i started dreaming for the things i’ve now…

When i was a kid all i could dream of was either a box of gulab jamuns (something i still love today) or maybe some materialistic things which would fascinate me for a moment. But if i look back now, they all seem a trash to me. The things that could enlighten my face and fill my heart with glee, no longer make me happy. It makes my wonder, what is that i want from my life?

The enthusiastic student inside me might answer, becoming an extraordinary Scientist. Who’d do things for the society that no one ever did. But is that it? Will my life be over after that?

The child who’s survived the raging storms at every stage of life may answer, ‘serenity.’ But sometimes even peace can be suffocating. Isn’t that self explanatory through this quarantine?

The survivor inside me retorts and i quote, ‘I dream of a colorful garden with flowers of happiness and thorns, which won’t bleed me to death.’ Is it a foolish plea from a desperate little heart who doesn’t even weep anymore?

I’m not asking for a life full of luxuries or a smooth path to lean on. In a world full of infinite colors, all i need is a few to decorate my garden.

Well, i know it takes a lot to get anything from your life and I won’t be a byproduct either. I’ve always tried to be a major product of an endothermic, forward reaction. Even if life gave me steric hindrance, I always chose to be the favourable resonating structure, one who has a decided fate. But as they say, rearrangements can always switch the reactions! Maybe, i need to work a little harder to hold on to my valencies and that would lead to a colored precipitate I’m looking for?

One thing that i’ve learnt from life is, not all the reactions are instantaneous nor is it a single step fast reaction. Life demands a slower, smoother and laborious rate of reaction for the products that are unique and precious.

As with a diamond, which is nothing more than a clump of carbon, that refused to give in to pressure and heat and that’s exactly what decided its fate to be so intriguingly beautiful than simply transforming into coal, life’s upheavals bring our true worth and strength to the surface. And its only then that we illuminate the world around us.

The intense pressures we face in the times of crises are actually God’s blessings to help us get rid of the impurities within us and become the better versions of ourselves. When we bloom from the very darkest experiences in our lives, that’s what makes the flower more vibrant and precious, denoting the victory of perseverance over hardships.

Its never a fixed goal that makes you a perfect human being. Its the little dreams for today and tomorrow that shape you into a beautiful masterpiece. I believe, life is like a garden. The beauty of which is the reflection of the patient labor and expended efforts of a gardener. You can never expect the garden to be in a perfect condition. As you grow new plants and sow new seeds, the old ones start ageing and finally die. Life is all about enjoying the smell of little saplings growing in the soil, getting wet with the sweat of hardwork you’ve put in and finally taking some time to cherish the peace and share the beauty with people around us. 

 ~Misbah Khan

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